1 Jurassic Park Lost World Remote Control pilfered from my neighbor's trash
1 cork from complimentary bottle of champange from Tom Finklepearl ex-Director of Queens Museum
1. Deep Freeze remote in freezer for 2 years to kill any potential bed bugs or other contaminants.
2. Use Gorilla Glue to adhere cork to remote in desired location for snout (preferably between eyes somewhere).
3. Cover whole thing in layer of gesso or white paint.
4. Mix paint to desired color & lather it over layer of white (leave eyeballs white if you want).
5. Use black paint to make pupils, snout holes, and mouth.
6. Live happily ever after.